Lasting Motivation, Creating Momentum and Auditing Influence.

In 1998 I was a young, shy, 18 year old kid breaking into the senior rugby ranks in Galwegians RFC. At the same time, in a leafy suburb of London, a professional rugby club was folding and some of the biggest stars of world rugby left looking for a job. Rugby’s first million pound player – Ben Clarke, Welsh powerhouse Scott Quinnell and Argentine wizard Agustín Pichot were a few of a star studded squad left reeling as Richmond Rugby Club went into administration. Little did I know, as I picked up my Leaving Cert results, how this big news in the fresh world of professional rugby would so directly affect me.

As was tradition in the Galwegians XV at the time, each player had their set spot in the changing room. This is always a nerve wracking moment for a young fella as you enter the senior changing room for the first time, officially meet all the players you’ve admired from the side lines for so long and then try to find a spot to change in that’s not going to offend someone. You’ve gone from the top dog in your underage teams to a lowly serf and you better well respect that fact. There’s no good approach to this moment – arrive too early, the changing room is too empty and chances are you’ll have the embarrassing situation of being moved numerous times as people filter in. Arrive too late and you’ll be left with the worst seat in the room for the duration of the season. I hedged my bets with a 20 minutes before training entrance, thinking I’d be in and changed before the customary last minute gang arrived in a rush with little choice to be had. When I arrived there was that healthy hum of excitement for the first day of pre-season swirling through the air. Swirling through me was a bracing case of anxiety so I turned the corner into the changing room, identified a safe-ish spot that was a couple of rungs above what you would judge was the worst spot and went for it. Head down, mouth shut I started to get changed, half expecting a tap on the shoulder along with the words ‘that’s my place’ but it never came. By the time I had laced my boots up a few people had kindly introduced themselves and welcomed me. As we waited for the new coach to enter and introduce himself to the squad, I kept my eyes on the ground, bouncing between my feet and a crack in the concrete, daring, when the situation permitted to lift my head and have a look around.

Across from me, a couple of feet above the clothes pegs, a sign caught my nervous eye that said – ‘You can motivate by fear, you can motivate by reward, but the only lasting motivation is self motivation’, a moment later the man who would dramatically impact the course of my life walked in. John Kingston has been head coach at Richmond Rugby Club when it went into administration, disillusioned with the game he contemplated quitting and moving into the business world when a hopeful offer arrived to be Director of Rugby with a small Division 2 club in the West of Ireland. It was the offer he didn’t know he wanted and curiously said yes, seeing it as an opportunity to reset and re-establish a loving connection with the game. I was much later to find out John has been at the club earlier that day hanging the signs around the dressing room, including the one I would sit across from for the next 2 years as we went on the most extraordinary journey as a team under John; finishing 2nd and getting promoted from Division 2 in our first year and finishing 2nd again in Division 1 in our 2nd year, unfortunately losing a home semi final during a memorable day to eventually champions Dungannon in front of an estimated 5000 people crammed into Crowley Park. After that John moved back to London to be head coach at Harlequins in The Premiership where we crossed paths many times again while I was at Northampton. 

I’m often invited onto podcasts. I don’t know what it is about that medium and its hosts but they seem to love the question; ‘what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?’ and the truth is I don’t know my mind is always blank to the question. I have never been given advice that I remember as truly marking me in a way that made it unforgettable but I have never forgotten that sign.

Discomfort is the price of evolution. Therefore the capacity to endure discomfort is truly important if you desire to do more with your life. Ponder this question and witness what memory, situation, imagery pops into your mind – sit with it and ask yourself could I have endured it a moment or two more? The longer we can endure the feeling of discomfort, the more time we give ourselves to organise our psychology and change our state – a true superpower.